November: Decide From What's Already Yours
Cara's Letter
In September, we talked about sustainable rhythms and healthy boundaries. In October, we went underneath all of it, to the question I believe sits at the root of so much of our overwhelm: who, or what, is actually making your decisions?
Because here's what I keep seeing, y'all, starting with my own life. Most of us aren't short on effort. We're short on a settled place to decide from. Urgency decides the morning. Guilt decides the yes. Fear decides the wait. Whoever is loudest decides the rest. Then we lie down at night, worn out, wondering why our lives don't look like what God's Word says.
That question is why Destiny Decisions has been on my heart for years, and why December 3 means so much to me. A Destiny Decision isn't one perfect, life-altering choice. It's simply a choice you make from who God says you are, instead of letting fear, pressure, or other people's expectations make it for you. Most of them are small: the email, the invitation, the conversation you keep putting off.
This November, as the holiday calendar starts filling up, we're going one step further. Our theme this month is Decide From What's Already Yours. So many of our decisions are quiet attempts to earn something God already gave us: worth, love, peace, approval, a place at the table. You don't have to earn any of it. In Christ, it's already yours. The invitation this month is to decide from it.
Below you'll find October's biggest takeaways, five tips you can use this month, and what's coming before the book releases. Read it once, then keep it somewhere you can find it when the invitations start rolling in.
Scripture to Stand On
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1 (ESV)
Paul wrote this to believers who were being pressured to add their own rule-keeping to what Christ had already done, as if grace needed their help. Notice the order. Christ has already set you free. Your part isn't to earn that freedom; it's to stand firm in it and refuse to pick the old yoke back up. For a lot of us, that yoke looks like proving, performing, and saying yes so nobody's disappointed. This month, every time you feel that weight sliding back onto your shoulders, come back to this verse.
October on the Podcast
October was one month, four episodes, and one thread running through all of them: each week we named something that quietly makes our decisions for us. If you missed one, here's where to start.
Oct 8: Are You Living Your Life, or Just Managing It? We named reactive living, when urgency, roles, and everyone else's needs set the agenda before you've had a chance to ask God what's actually yours. "The goal isn't necessarily an empty plate. The goal is an obedient one." Watch here or read the blog.
Oct 15: How to Stop Overthinking Every Decision: Is It Wisdom or Fear? For the woman who makes confident calls all day but freezes on what God put on her heart. "Ready is not a feeling. If you're waiting to feel it, you may be waiting too long." Watch here or read the blog.
Oct 22: Passed Over for a Promotion Again? What to do when you're qualified, prepared, and still not chosen, and how to keep someone else's decision from telling you who you are. Ambition isn't the problem; proving is. "That decision was about a role. It was not about who I am." Watch here or read the blog.
Oct 29: Why I Wrote Destiny Decisions. The story behind the book, including a season I don't share lightly, and the truth that changed how I decide. "Knowing isn't the same thing as deciding." You can know who God says you are and still find yourself just reacting by 8:00 a.m. This one is the heart of everything coming in December. Watch here or read the blog.
You can also find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music.
Your November Decision Toolkit
Five tips from October's episodes, made for the season we're walking into. None of them asks you to do less or care less. They help you decide from a settled place, so you can carry a full life with peace.
1. Pause before you answer. A yes given in two seconds usually comes from pressure, not peace. When the sign-up sheet, the extra project before the break, or the "can you host this year?" text shows up, try: "Can I get back to you tomorrow?" That one sentence gives you room to check in with God and your calendar before you commit.
2. Name what you're really waiting on. If there's a decision you keep circling, finish this sentence honestly: "I'm waiting until ______." Then ask, "Am I waiting on God, or am I waiting on a feeling?" If He's already made it clear, choose one small, faithful step to take in the next three days. Confidence usually comes from obedience, not before it.
3. Don't let someone else's no tell you who you are. Not every response you get this season will be a yes: the opportunity that went to someone else, the family member who didn't love your plan, the person disappointed by your no. When it happens, write it down this way: "That decision was about ______. It was not about who I am." Feel it, learn from it, and refuse to let it name you.
4. Make one autopilot decision on purpose. Pick one thing you usually decide without thinking, like how you start your morning or how you answer that one email. This week, pause first and ask, "Who does God say I am in this moment?" Then decide from that answer. Small decisions made on purpose are where Destiny Decisions start.
5. Run the holiday yes check. Before you RSVP, volunteer, or agree to host, ask three questions. Who's deciding this yes: God's leading, or guilt, fear of disappointing someone, or the need to prove something? What will I quietly have to put down to make room for it? If I said no, would my worth change? (It wouldn't.) Then decide, and remember that a God-aligned no doesn't owe anyone a long explanation.
Screenshot this:
Can I get back to you tomorrow?
Am I waiting on God, or on a feeling?
That decision was about ______, not about who I am.
Who does God say I am in this moment?
Who's deciding this yes?
Destiny Decision of the Month
"I don't have to earn what God already gave me. I'll decide from it."
Say it out loud before the next decision that makes your stomach tighten. Write it on a sticky note and put it where you'll see it when the requests come in: your laptop, your bathroom mirror, the top of your calendar. When guilt says "you'd better say yes," or pressure says "you have to prove it," this is your answer. You're not deciding for your worth anymore. You're deciding from it.
Journal Prompt
Take ten quiet minutes with this one before the week gets loud:
What have I been trying to earn that God already gave me?
Then go a little deeper:
- Where does that striving show up in my decisions right now? (The yes I gave too fast, the thing I keep proving, the person I'm afraid to disappoint.)
- If I truly believed it was already mine, what's one decision I'd make differently this week?
Coming in November
This month, we're getting real about the things that quietly try to make our decisions for us, right when the season gets busiest. Think loud feelings, a past that keeps trying to get a vote, and other people's opinions running our calendars. Each week, straight from the pages of Destiny Decisions, we'll name one and walk through how to decide from who God says you are instead.
And as Thanksgiving gets close, we'll make room to pause and give thanks for what's already ours in Christ. New episodes drop every Thursday, so grab your coffee, your headphones, or your seat in the car line, and come ready. Y'all, I'm excited about this one.
And then, Thursday, December 3: Destiny Decisions is officially here. Release day comes with its own episode, and I can't wait to celebrate it with you. December will also be about meeting you right where the holidays pull hardest, so you don't walk into the new year running on empty.
The Book
Your next step: Destiny Decisions
If October's episodes stirred something in you, this is the next step. Destiny Decisions: How to Make Choices From Who God Says You Are Instead of Letting Fear, Pressure, and Other People's Expectations Decide walks you through three steps you can use on any decision, big or small: Anchor Yourself in who God says you are, Discern Your Decision by seeing what's really driving it, and Walk in Freedom, the freedom you already have in Christ, so you stop reopening the decision every time it gets uncomfortable, but instead, Live on Assignment.
When you preorder by December 2, you'll get a copy signed by me, plus Before the Book, a 7-day companion that lands in your inbox right after checkout, so you can start this week. It's $20.99 plus shipping (tax included) and ships within the U.S. the week of December 3. Every reader also gets a free chapter-by-chapter workbook, with the link inside the book.
Already preordered? Thank you for going first. Your signed copy ships the week of December 3. If you haven't started Before the Book yet, look for the email you received right after checkout, or just reply and I'll send it again.
Your Assignment
Before Thursday, pick one decision that's already on your plate this month: an invitation, a request, a conversation you've been putting off. Run it through the holiday yes check (tip 5), say this month's Destiny Decision out loud, and then make the call on purpose.
Then hit reply and tell me what you decided. I read every reply, and I'll be praying for you.
Now, let's go be great!
Cara
P.S. A new episode drops this Thursday. You can watch on YouTube or listen on your favorite podcast platform. I'll see you there!
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